Under Me
by LaraWinner
Summary: (rated for language, 2xH) Love and Hate walk the same path and sometimes the lines blur...


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing or my own cuddley-wuddley Duo. I wish I did though.

Under Me

By: Lara Winner

………………………

He was there, somewhere in the darkness waiting for her.

Hilde closed the door to her modest one bedroom apartment with an ironic smile tilting her lips. The still silence was broken by the sound of the dead bolts sliding in place. Then the soft click of her heals echoed off the linoleum floor as she walked to the darkened living room.

"Duo I know you're here."

From her right came a soft chuckle. "Am I that predictable babe?"

Hilde blinked, her cornflower eyes adjusting to the sudden change in lighting as her uninvited guest turned on the lamp that resided on the small end table beside the overstuffed chair he occupied.

The young man sat gracelessly, leaning forward with his elbows braced on his knees. Long meter length braid hung over his shoulder slightly mused from careless handling. His full lips were pulled into a smirk full of conceited confidence, as if he were challenging her on some unspoken level. There was matching sparkle in his violet eyes.

Ignoring the banter that her companion was striving for, Hilde dropped her purse into the coffee table as she asked, "How long have you been back on L2?"

"I arrived this morning."

The petite girl folded her arms, waiting to feel something for his admission. Hope, happiness, frustration, annoyance… hell even anger would have been nice, but they had been playing this game for far too long. It was too early to feel anything.

Instead she titled her head thoughtfully. "I'm surprised you showed your face this soon."

"Why put it off?" He countered lightly. "You're the reason I'm here."

"Usually it's a week or two before you come around."

"I needed to see you."

"Cut the crap. You need a place to stay, that's all." she snapped choosing anger as the safest emotion to dwell on.

For a brief moment Duo appeared contrite, then he shrugged and looked away. "Yeah that too."

Without another word Hilde tuned and headed to her bedroom.

There was no need to give him an answer. Her home was his home, always had been and always would be. No matter how often he decided to drop in and out of her life, Duo knew she would never turn him away.

Once, long ago, she had made that choice out of love. Blinded by her feelings for the handsome gundam pilot, Hilde would have turned herself inside out for the young boy. But that was years ago, before he left the first time.

How many times had he walked away since? Seven… eight? Maybe more. Sometimes he would disappear for days and other times, like now, he was gone for much longer.

This absence lasted eleven months.

Almost a whole goddamn year.

Hilde kicked off her shoes and began to unbutton her cream colored silk blouse. She let the garment fall in a heap on the carpet and then her chocolate skirt followed. She made no move to cover herself as footfalls alerted her to Duo's approach. When he leaned against the doorframe to watch her silently, she ignored him completely.

She was angry. That was the honest, refreshing emotion she readily admitted to. But under the anger was a spark of bitter amusement. She didn't like to acknowledge that she'd come to accept these bouts of restlessness he suffered. It made her feel weak for allowing him to return.

The only saving grace to her pride was that her choice was no longer made out of love. She hadn't been able to say she loved Duo for a long time.

What exactly that meant she was still trying to figure out.

Foregoing the act modesty when Duo knew very curve of her body by memory, Hilde entered the bathroom acutely aware of his heated gaze as he eyed her underwear-clad form. There were no words spoken, no need for any really, as Duo crept closer. Turning on the faucet, Hilde began to wash the day's make up from her face all the while gritting her teeth in annoyance.

When the tense silence was finally broken it was Hilde's on again off again lover who took the initiative. Motioning to the bottle of men's after-shave on the counter and the extra toothbrush that rested in the holder with her own Duo asked, "So who is he?"

Stormy blue met burning violet in the wall mirror.

"I met him through a co-worker at the office." She sighed and began drying her face with the fluffy towel that hung beside the sink.

"What's his name?"

Duo's tone remained conversational but only those who knew him well could pick up the underlying anger that was present. Hilde fought the urge to roll her eyes.

As if Duo has the right to get angry… "Lefteris Petrakis. He's from Greece. I've been seeing him for a few months."

"Is it serious?"

Hilde shrugged, "Define your meaning" Making an effort to appear nonchalant, she began rooting around the cluttered counter for her brush.

"Well for starters is he living with you?"

"No." she answered and took to brushing her shoulder length hair a little harder than necessary.

"Are you dating or is this a one on one relationship?"

"Dating…" her eyes shifted to meet his once again in the mirror, "What's with the fifty questions Duo?"

It used to be easy for Hilde to twist Duo's jealousy into an expression of love. Then she grew up and realized exactly what it was. He was selfish enough to want her mind, body and soul while he gave nothing back in return. Knowing that still hurt.

Duo flashed her a tight smile. "I just want to know if there are wedding bells in the future or if the two of you are fucking around for fun?"

Fucking around?

It amazed her that someone so handsome and charming could be that cruel. But she had years of proof. Every time he walked back into her life he took over and molded her to his whim only to leave again. It wasn't fair. He had no right to get jealous, not after she'd given him fair warning that she was not waiting for him anymore.

Seeing the absurdity of their conversation, Hilde laughed dryly. "What I do while you run off to who-knows-where is none of your business Duo."

"Then humor me babe. Give me an idea of what I'm up against." He cajoled in a display of pure narcissism.

Why you arrogant, pretentious, pig-headed, egotistical, son of a bitch…

"I don't believe you." she gaped in angry amazement, "You honestly think you can come in and disrupt my life every time you damn well feel like it…" she wanted to hit him. She wanted to knock that cocky smirk right off his perfect face… Her fists clenched. "Did it ever occur to you that I might not want you around anymore?"

"Nope. Can't say that it did."

His unrepentant smile, the self-assured way he held himself told her that Duo was manipulating their confrontation. He knew what buttons to press to get her angry. She knew the dark, feral look in his eyes. He was going to prove to her that she couldn't resist him. He was going to make her bend to his will.

This wasn't love. This was the unhealthy relationship they'd started as children and now it had carried over into their adult lives warping into this sick dependency they couldn't overcome. It was one vicious cycle. He always came back and she always let him.

Sadly, Hilde could respect Duo for leaving. If only he would stay gone.

Closing her eyes, Hilde let the brush fall from her slack grip and it clattered against the counter top as she bowed her head. She didn't hear Duo move. She only felt the warmth of his body a second before his hands came to rest on her shoulders. His touch was as much a comfort as it was a threat.

"How long before you're gone again…" she whispered, though it wasn't a question or a statement, just the vocalization of longing and fear.

"Maybe I won't. You never know." he pointed out giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah," she scoffed, "And maybe I won't be here the next time you come back."

Nothing was ever going to change.

For the first time Hilde was beyond caring.

……………………………

A.N. – Started this at three in the freakin' morning. It's meant to be short and angsty. But if you take a good look at the relationship presented here, its full of hurt and pain but they don't do anything to change it. So are they really that unhappy?

Nope, there won't be a sequel so you answer that question for yourself.


End file.
